I’ve been here before. When I wanted something so bad but those who care enough for my choices seem to doubt my own decision. I’m not blaming them for being cautious because anyone can tell that i’m doubting the decision myself. But i’ve also learned and am old enough to conclude that truly wanting something is really rare these days. I get so easily trapped by living in other people’s expectation that everytime my heart says yes I go running for it. Even if i’m not strong enough. Even if i’m not smart enough. But everything is a process, and as long as i have the capacity, I will go running and chase what I want. I will keep myself inspired.
I remember a best friend told me as long as i don’t intend to hurt anyone or myself, i should just keep going for it. No matter how many assumptions and public expectations I might break. No matter how useless or pointless my effort will be, at least I’m doing what my heart desires. At least I can see that little bit of hope comes true, one by one. Day by day. Year by year. At least I can pick one apple up out of the 10 apples I tried to shoot down the tree, and not simply eat what was in store.